Guess what Reader — I’m about to do something career-limiting, and you’re invited to watch 😄
Because talking about workplace trauma and psychological safety is bad for business — if my business is about selling to corporations.
But that’s not what I’m about. I’m about helping individual people to heal from their past, and find hope for their future.
Don’t get me wrong, I’d happily sell my coaching and speaking to companies. In my opinion, there’s definitely a “business case” for trauma-informed, psychologically safe workplaces.
But the problem with “business case” based safety is that safety shouldn’t be about business. It’s personal. It’s about human life, including quality of life.
We’re seeing what happens when the business case for human rights is no longer profitable — like the cancellation of DEI (Diversity, Equity and Inclusion) in the U.S. and globally. After George Floyd was killed in 2020, it became more popular and profitable for companies to invest in DEI. Their ROI on DEI went up.
But the current U.S. government has brought the ROI on DEI way down. They’re even trying to make it illegal.
As a Chinese-Canadian woman, I’m feeling increasingly unsafe — physically and psychologically. My race, ethnicity, citizenship, and finances are all under attack. That means my life is under attack.
A silver lining for me is that I work for myself, and can choose humanity over productivity. I make my work as psychologically safe as I can, for me and the people I serve, by:
- Doing less with less (not more with less). That means working less than 40 hours/week — a lot less.
- Forgiving myself when I can’t be as focused or fast as I’d like (instead of demanding accountability and pushing for more).
- Prioritizing time with trusted friends and family, because safe social engagement is healing — and a healthy worker is a productive worker.
Psychological Safety includes Social Connection
When I was an employee working for corporations, I didn’t have these freedoms. That doesn’t mean I worked for bad people. In fact I’ve been lucky, all but one of my workplaces had great people who were very supportive.
Psychological safety and mental well-being requires systems to be safe. That includes the mindset and heartset of the people who design and uphold the systems, as well as the employment laws, HR policies, and corporate structures that form the systems.
Today (April 28) is the United Nations’ World Day for Safety and Health at Work. Historically, workplace safety has focused on physical dangers, like construction sites, disasters (e.g. fire), or violence (e.g. against front-line workers). Of course it’s right and good to keep workers safe from these risks.
It’s also important to remember that the absence of danger ≠ safety, especially when it comes to psychological safety. Or as Dr. Stephen Porges, neuroscientist and developer of Polyvagal Theory says: “There's a distinction between the removal of threat and the opportunity to experience cues of safety.”
That’s because, as humans, our nervous systems evolved to seek safety through social connection. We can see this in the way babies are soothed by their mother’s voice and touch, the way we seek commiseration from friends, the way “silence can speak a thousand words”.
💡 Social connection and cues of safety go way beyond “respect” and “courtesy” in the workplace. These are important, but if you’ve ever been in a performance discussion or high-stakes meeting, you know what unsafety in a “polite” environment looks like.
But we don’t talk about social connection at work in this way, because it’s been contracted out of our jobs. We get paid to do work, not to be coddled like a baby. Right? I mean, can you imagine?
Well, I do imagine that. I imagine a feeling of safety so secure that I’m unconditionally loved and accepted.
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[Photo captions: my grey tabby cat Earl Grey cuddling with me on the sofa and, in the 3rd photo, on my computer desk! May he rest in peace. 💙]
So here’s my career-limiting move:
I’m daring to say that true psychological safety, on a human level, isn’t what workplaces are offering. And that’s by systemic design.
And maybe that’s acceptable to most folks, because we’ve been conditioned to believe that we don’t need or deserve that from our employers. That we get paid to do a job and that’s it.
But I’m not in that majority. I’m in the minority (maybe?) of folks who believe we deserve compassion not judgment, and crave acceptance of our true selves, all our identities — even at work.
I can accept that work is not designed for that kind of unconditional acceptance. That's the reality. But if that’s the case, then don’t expect me to believe that work is also psychologically safe. Not for me. Not for humanity.
If you also crave this kind of unconditional acceptance and are wondering how to feel safe without it (at work), you may be interested in this two-part webinar series I’m offering (for free!)
This series goes deeper into the science of Polyvagal Theory and how humans actually feel safe, whether we’re at work or elsewhere. We’ll also explore how to increase our sense of safety even if we’re not getting those safety cues from our workplaces.
More information including registration details are in the Events section below. All are welcome. I hope you can join us!
Wishing you wellness,
Upcoming Events
Unsafe by Design: the Myth of Psychological Safety (at Work)
❓ What is “safe”?
❓ What does “psychological safety” mean?
❓ Can our workplaces ever be “psychologically safe” for you and me?
These are just some of the questions we’ll explore in my free webinar series on Mental Safety and Self-Defense.
And we’ll do this from the perspective of historically disempowered and chronically shamed people, through intersectional lenses of anti-oppression, feminism and social justice.
If you can, please join us LIVE on Thursday, May 1st so you can ask your questions in real time! (You can also ask questions in advance via email.)
9:00 am PST | 12:00pm EST | 5:00 pm BST | 6:00 pm CEST
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Mental “Self-Defense”: Survival Skills for Unsafe Workplaces
Mental illness is not the same as mental injury.
Mental health is not the same as mental safety.
We need to talk about both — from the employee’s perspective.
In this webinar (part 2), we’ll begin learning ways we can protect ourselves as employees — kinda like Mental Self-Defense techniques.
And we’ll continue to look through the intersectional lenses of anti-oppression, feminism and social justice. Because performative #DEI and mental health #gaslighting are part of workplace unsafety.
If you can, please join us LIVE on Wednesday, May 7th so you can ask your questions in real time! (You can also ask questions in advance via email.)
9:00 am PST | 12:00pm EST | 5:00 pm BST | 6:00 pm CEST
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